“I would never want to stand in the way of your dream”…Those were the words of my boss as I sat across from her telling her I was quitting. Leading up to this week I was terrified. I didn’t even recognize myself. I was filled with so much anxiety and guilt. Guilt that I would be making it difficult for everyone around me by quitting.. as if their feelings were what mattered most. As she said that I felt a shock of electricity hit me. “I would never want to stand in the way of your dream”… then why am I standing in my OWN way.
I can’t tell you how many times I have told others to follow their dreams, to pave a new way, to do something they love, but why on earth could I not follow my own advice! Instead I stuck it out, I “hustled” as people would like to say. But was it worth it? I stopped caring about things in my life that should have been a priority. I put work over everything, everyone. I couldn’t even remember the last time I cooked a meal, sat down and actually ate dinner with my boyfriend..instead of me getting home late rushing to eat something and then going to bed. I was distant from him and distant from my friends. I stopped working out, I stopped doing things that my own body needed because I was hustling…but at what point is hustling not worth it anymore.
I had this feeling in my gut and then the pit of my stomach for the longest time that it was ready for me to leave. Ready to do something new. And the hard part was… I was doing my dream job. Or at least what I thought was my dream until I found photography. (But that’s a whole another blog post. ) After some deep soul searching, many crying sessions in my car on the way home from work, and the support from my boyfriend I decided it was time to take a leap. A leap of faith, and a leap for myself.
So friends I am so excited (but also terrified) to say that as of today, now, right this second, I am my own boss and am pursing this amazing fulfilling passion that I have come to love. I am going to pour all my energy, heart, and soul into my photography (but of course also find a balance with my personal life) and I am so excited. So much weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I know this is going to be a crazy fun adventure. Now I’m sure I will deal with some obstacles along the way, but at least they will be new obstacles and I will not be standing in my way anymore. I am so excited for my future, for all my 2019 and 2020 couples who have trusted in me to capture the most important day of their lives and I know deep down I am where I need to be. So if you are interested follow along in my journey. I know it will not be easy so I will be writing about certain things I learned or wish I knew along the way in hopes that it too can push you to follow your gut and find your passion. Thanks for listening and I am so excited to share the good, the ugly, and the fun I am about to embark on! Here’s to my journey of finding my passion.